I did a lot of personal development and I read a lot about in the last 5 years. I was always hearing „this is your life, if you don’t like something change it”. Most of the mentors spoke about their transformation, they speak about what changed their life how this change happened and so on. I was there to change myself. I was there to find my happiness. I was inspired by them.
I wrote some days ago on fb: to compete with others is tiresome, to compete with yourself is insanity. When I compete with others I sometimes win, sometimes lose but if I compete with myself a part of me is always loosing.
I decided I want to change myself, I want to compete myself, to be better. I tried, I wished, I changed and I failed miserably landing in the same feeling of not being good enough. I was driving a car I didn’t like, I didn’t trust and I was wishing to win the championship with. Is there somebody thinking it’s possible?
So, what’s next? … I’ll try 2 things. First is I don’t intend to change anything I will simply continue to walk and things will simply happen. Second, I am heading my dream, my vision but I am not rushing, am walking there, I want to live long and enjoy my life … and so shall it be!
Even if sometimes I can’t really stop competing with myself because if feel it is useful to do it, it’s also useful to acknowledge when I’m doing it, to do it consciously.
Thank you Andrei!
Change, not change. Fight, don’t fight. Resist, don’t resist. These are only our projection on the world. The world is doing all these things all the time, doesn’t matter on what you think about. In your innner world it is the same. Just live with your eyes wide open and enjoy… or not 🙂
Not accepting… I think I can feel this theme coming over and over again in the posts. It is in my life as well. We were always thaught that we shall not accept the current state. The idea was good – up to a point – without change, there is no progress, no transformation. However I think that forcing change by all means is not the right way. There is a healthy way of driving the change into your life, of finding THAT right change. I am balancing between the different ways of acting: each time I can choose to do more or less, and each action would mean a bigger or a smaller change. And for me the key is to accept, fully accept, that decision I made. Only accepting it would make me feel happy, content, satisfied. I still have my issues with accepting it. I have always the cloud over my head saying: you could have done „better”. I don’t like the idea of letting it flow, simply flow. I believe that it is my life and that there are things I can actively trigger to get it better, to feel better. Each time I do a bit more of what feels difficult at the begining I have a great feeling of accomplishment. I accept whole-hearteadly my actions when I choose to do more, one step further than what I consider facile. I cannot accept my choice of doing less… Thus my un-satisfaction…
how nice to see I am not alone in this
thank you all!
Haha, did you really think you could be the only one having these issues?! Maybe you are among the few that express these thoughts, but you are noooot aloooone 😉